


Nearly Withered

by angry_cheese



Category: Hetalia - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Who the fuck else is in here, hopefully I can add on but if not sorry, idfk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 21:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10705473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angry_cheese/pseuds/angry_cheese
Summary: I'll probably make an actual summary eventually, but this is essentially a model AU.Later in the fic it'll have some triggering content, like dealing with past trauma and relapsing anorexia, but it's on the down low right now.ALSO anything in between "// \\" is supposed to be in italics, basically whoever's POV you're seeing from's thoughts or a flashback





	Nearly Withered

**Author's Note:**

> Yo this is the first time I've actually dedicated to making a fic, so I hope I don't screw this up. I want to make my goal one chapter a month, and I'm pretty confident rn. I mostly made this for my Itacest blog on Tumblr but I doubt any one of my followers are going to give a shit (;-w-)

Feliciano fidgeted in his seat, nibbling the inside of his lip nervously. He felt like he was about to explode. His anxiety was off the charts and he couldn’t wait to get out of this dreadfully overheated office, at least that how it seemed to him. For a minute he was so caught up in his thoughts he forgot where he was, but a man clearing his throat caught his attention. His head shot up and he stopped sucking on his lip, hoping he hadn’t seen him. A million more thoughts zoomed through his mind, thinking, // What if he saw me? What if he knows I’m nervous and thinks that’s unmanly and won’t hire me? Wait why would he think that? Oh yeah, cause men have to be confident. But that’s just stupid what do their genitals have to do with it? He wouldn’t think like that. Or would he? I don’t know, I don’t know him, I don’t even remember his name. What is it again? Look at the tag.. Oh yeah, Mr. Fernández-Carriedo. Fuck, pay attention, I’ve already gotten turned down thrice this week, I can’t do it again. \\\

“So, Edelstein.” The voice made him jump again, swiftly realizing he'd been deep in his thoughts and chewing on his lip again, quickly stopping and hoping, again, that he hadn't seen. “You went to… Istituto Italiano di Fotografia, in Milan? So you're from Italy?” “Ah, yes, sir, from Venice. I moved to Milan to study there..” “So you know Italian?” “Si.” The brunet chuckled silently at the irony of his response, about to continue to ask him questions, but as he looked up his smile faltered. “Oh, are you sick? Your face is red; you’re sweating,” A look of concern took over his face, and Feliciano stiffened, wiping the back of his hand to find it quite damp. “Ah, n-no, sir, I-I’m just rather nervous, uh..” Mr. Fernández’s face lightened to a face of sympathy, giving an airy laugh. “I don’t believe you have anything to be anxious about, Mr. Edelstein, after all,” The Spaniard raised his hands to the sides of his head, a wide grin accompanying them, “You got the job!” 

Feliciano stiffened, taking a second to register what he said, a look of surprise on his face. “Wh-Wait, I-I did?” A small, nervous smile appeared, still wary, after all, he could just be lying. // Not that he would do that, I guess, he seems really nice. \\\ “Sí! Your résumé is phenomenal, and you seem very qualified and like a great person!” His excited smile dropped to a more guilty one. “Plus, uh, no one- no one else applied..” Feliciano’s smile faltered, a pang of realization piercing through his chest. “But! That's a job for you! So it's okay!”

~~

Feliciano sighed as he took off his coat, hanging it on the door handle and sitting on the floor to take off his shoes, pausing and sighing again when the coat fell on top of him, blinding him from his apartment. Honestly, he should've been happier. He got the job! So why was he so sad? // I only got in because no one else applied... \\\ Oh, right, that. // Ugh, I don't even remember most of what after he said that.. We shook hands, I thanked him, I left.. Oh, didn't he say there was a New Years Eve party? Huh, I guess I could go... I'd get to know everyone before I got to work and everything wouldn't be as awkward? \\\ He jolted from his thoughts as sharp claws dug through his pants and to his skin, climbing up his leg and towards his face. He lifted the coat from his eyes, coming face to face with the culprit. The grey cat tilted her head, meowing quietly at her owner. He smiled softly and reached out his hand, petting her head and earning a purr. “Hey Pookie..” She hopped off as soon as she made sure it really was her owner, waltzing over to her bowl before slumping next to it, meowing loudly for food. “I know, I know, gimme a minute.” Feliciano threw the coat off him completely, not bothering with where it landed, and quickly untied and threw off his shoes. 

Brown-red hair fell in his face as he plopped onto the couch, huffing and hugging a pillow close. He buried his face in the rough texture, contemplating turning on the TV or going to sleep, the crunching of cat food in the background. For a second it stopped, the small pap of feet followed, and Pookie jumped on the couch in front of Feli's head, laying down and stretching on her back. The human looked up at her before leaning over and stuffing his face in her belly, earning a small mrow and claws in his skull. He simply murmured an 'ow', but he didn't move his head. // What else had happened, again? I don't know, I wasn't paying much attention... Well, I was walking out of the office.. And I ran into someone, didn’t I? Yeah.. \\\ 

// Feliciano sighed heavily and pulled his coat tighter around him, watching his breath float into the air like a cloud, quickly disappearing. Just as he turned the corner to head home, something knocked into him forcefully, knocking him to the ground and the wind out of him. He groaned loudly and sat up shakily, trying to catch his breath. An angry huff sounded in front of him and a murmured, “Watch where you’re going, asshole,” made its way through the ringing in his ears. He opened his eyes and began to apologize, but the man was already running away, crunching the snow under his boots and holding his beanie to his head. \\\

He winced unconsciously and rubbed his tailbone; it was still sore. He grunted and sat up, rubbing his head where Pookie had dug her claws and sticking his tongue out at her. She only replied with another mew and stretching again. Feliciano’s hand shot to his stomach as a loud groan erupted from his stomach, wincing slightly at the vibrations. He hadn’t eaten anything all day. The noise was apparently so loud that Pookie sat up, ears twitching and searching for the sound again. He looked down sadly, internally wreching at how starved he probably looked underneath his shirt. // Well, I did get the job… I deserve something to eat, right? \\\ He sighed and picked himself up off the couch, throwing on some rain boots instead of bothering to put on his fancy tennis shoes, picking up his fallen coat and throwing it over his shoulders. But as he reached for the door handle, he hesitated. // But I got rejected from three whole other jobs… and I only got it cause no one else applied… But why did no one else apply? It pays exceptionally well and Mr. Fernandez seems really nice…. \\\ Both his hands rose to his face, covering it and groaning loudly into them. He fell backwards onto the couch, startling Pookie to where she jumped off. He stared at the ceiling miserably. He was tired, hungry, and felt just completely awful. He went to sleep at 3 am and woke up at 4 am to get ready for the interview, he hasn’t eaten in days because he spent so much on Pookie’s food, and his mental health has been deteriorating more and more every failed interview, which also played a part in his eating. 

~~

A big thump woke Feliciano from his nap, jerking up and falling off the couch with a yell. He shakily pushed himself up and leaned onto the couch, rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes. When had he fallen asleep? The sound of a metal bowl spinning in circles before falling flat sounded through the apartment, accompanied by the soft sound of crunching. He grunted as he stood up and headed towards the kitchen, sighing defeatedly as he watched Pookie eat from the spilled bag of cat food. His eyes were drawn to the digital clock on his oven, which read 4:41. He had been asleep for about 12 hours now; of course Pookie was hungry. 

He carefully stepped over her eating form, gaining a small, muffled meow, and opened the cupboard to give her her wet food for the night, but there was none. He stared for a second before sighing defeatedly, again. “Shit”

~~

“Bye Pookie, I’ll be back with your wet food soon. Love you.” Feliciano closed the door behind him and locked it quickly, shoving the keys into his front pocket. His mind wandered to all different places while he was walking to the stairs. He would use the elevator but it was broken, so he was forced to climb and descend three flights of stairs every day. It was tedious, but at least he was getting some sort of exercise. He pulled his hood above his head and yanked the strings of his hoodie to cover his face, groaning loudly. He really didn’t want to go out, but Pookie needed her wet food. And hey, at least it’d get him to get himself some food, he always had a hard time doing that, so it was good motivation. 

Just as he stretched the hood as he came up to the edge of the stairs, just as he rounded the corner, just as it had happened hours ago, he ran into someone. He was knocked to the ground and the wind out of him. He groaned loudly and sat up shakily, trying to catch his breath. An angry grunt sounded in front of him and a murmured, “Watch-....” made its way through the ringing in his ears. He opened his eyes and began to apologize, but stopped as soon as he opened his mouth. The two men stared at each other for a moment, realizing the same thing at the same time. It was the guy from before; the one who called him an asshole. He blinked a few times before his face went red, stuttering an apology while attempting to stand up, but he just fell back on his ass again. 

The other tried to hold back a snicker, covering his mouth before holding out his gloved hand to help him up. Feliciano’s face went redder than before, but he grabbed his hand despite his embarrassment. They both grunted and the - apparently - shorter almost fell again, but he caught the rail in time. “Uh, sorry about that, and earlier today, I guess…” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, his own face going pink. “Oh, no, it’s fine! I mean you were probably just late for work or something..” Feli shoved his hands in his hoodie pocket and looked away, still embarrassed. He looked back at The stranger as he let out a sigh, relaxing as if a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He ran his hand through his hair, pushing his beanie back a bit, but not enough for it to fall off. A relieved smile washed over his lips; “Tell me about it..” Feliciano tensed, pink returning to his face. He could feel the curl on the side of his head curl into a small heart, and he hoped the other didn’t notice.

// Oh no, he’s hot. \\\

“Hey uh, you live here right?” “Oh, yeah, why?” “Do you know how to get to, uh..” The stranger stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper, squinting at what was on it before looking up. “40B?” Feliciano’s eyes lit up and a small smile graced his face. He knew where that room was, but what was really important was that he knew who lived there. “Oh, so you’re visiting Ms. Milstein?” “Yeah, she’s a good friend of my Nonno! You know her?” “Well, sorta, she’s my neighbor, but she’s really sweet, but her Corgi doesn’t like my cat, so..” Feli nodded his head back towards where he came from, and they started walking. The stranger started talking about something else on their way there, and Feli tried to pay attention, but he ended up zoning out anyway. 

The stranger almost seemed like a model, if Feliciano was being honest. His hair was a dark brown, the front of it peeking out of his dark orange beanie. He had a curl, too, on the right side of his head, so he must've also been Italian, like Feli. He was wearing the same outfit as before, which was odd to Feli, especially with the black and brown backpack. Then again, what he was wearing didn’t seem like work clothes at first glance. It was really just a brownish-red sweater vest with a white collar underneath a dark military green jacket, with black skinny jeans and black tennis shoes. He also had multiple big rings on his right hand. 

Feliciano snapped out of his daze of checking out staring at The stranger when he made a big gesture and looked towards him apologetically, and his hearing seemed to snap back too. “-you and uh…. I never apologized for calling you an asshole, did I?” “Oh, uh, no, but it’s okay! I know you were in a rush.” The stranger seemed relieved by his answer, which made Feliciano relieved as well, and he continued talking, and this time Feli paid attention. 

“Anyways, well, I finally got to work, like a hot minute late, and the damn photographer still yelled at me, like he always does, and kept complaining that I messed up my hair by running and wearing this beanie but this beanie is part of the outfit I’m supposed to model anyways?? Actually this whole outfit is what I was modeling today and we were supposed to model it yesterday but we didn’t have enough time because of how much fucking yelling he was doing so we couldn’t get anything done, so really I wasn’t even supposed to go to work today but we had to go an extra day and luckily he wasn’t as angry as I thought he was going to be.” The stranger took a breath before continuing. For someone with such a thick Italian accent, he spoke English really fast, and Feli would’ve had a hard time understanding him if it weren’t for his English-speaking mother. “Luckily my boss just hired someone new today -- a new photographer -- and today was our last day until next year so I won’t have to see that bastard again. I mean, who the fuck makes their model cry?? Who just- who fuckin does that?! I wasn’t the only person he made cry either, the jackass.” He made a disgusted face and shook his head, as if trying to rid the memories.

Feliciano, meanwhile, looked horrified. “He-he made you cry?!” “Yeah! Can you fuckin believe it?! Like, 10 times in the past week, and that’s just me, the guy who brought the brand was a lot more sensitive and his boss was fucking furious when he found him sobbing in the bathroom, you should’ve seen him tell him off.” He snickered quietly before looking back at Feli, who looked like a mix of terrified and confused, and he almost regretted telling him. “Ah, it’s fine though, the new guy’s coming in on the 8th, and that’s the next day of work, so he’s gone for good, thank god.” 

The two of them finally made it to 40B, and The stranger rang the doorbell while still talking. “Hm, what did Toni say his name was? Something like….. Fiona? No, it’s a guy, uh..” The stranger snapped his fingers together, trying to remember what “Toni” had said. Feliciano felt a swelling of nervousness in his chest, suddenly finding himself fidgeting with his fingers behind his back. “Uh, was-was it Feliciano..?” The stranger paused his snapping and looked up with a smile, “Yeah! Yeah, Feliciano, I dunno how I got Fiona, you know him?” He looked at him expectantly, and Feli tensed and looked away. “Well I-I guess you could say that..” The stranger made a perplexed face and opened his mouth to say something, but just then the door opened.

Ms. Milstein’s face lit up more than it usually was and opened her arms up for a hug once she saw The stranger, and both of their faces lit up, too; her smile was contagious. “Lovino! Oooh, my god, it’s so good to see you!!” “It’s good to see you too Nona.” They giggled together just as the little pap of feet got louder, and The stranger -- apparently named Lovino, // that was a pretty name \\\\-- gasped, and his voice suddenly went up in pitch as he saw a small, brownish-gray corgi approaching them, panting in excitement. “Hi, Espresso!! How are you?” He laughed as the only response he got was excited whining and licking his face. Ms. Milstein looked to Feliciano, and she smiled at how he was smiling at Lovino. “Hey neighbor,” She sent a wink his way and he giggled embarrassedly at it. Apparently it caught the attention of Espresso, because he jumped off of Lovino and waddled over to him, sniffing his hand and whining at the cat smell. He ran his hand over his ears and his voice also went higher when he spoke to the corgi, “Hey buddy, you smelling Pookie?” 

Lovino made weird noises as he was licked in the face, kissing the top of Espresso’s head and snout. Feliciano sighed silently, looking at Lovino give the animal kisses. He could also feel his curl swell into a bigger heart, and Ms. Milstein giggled at that, too. She didn’t want to embarrass him, though, so she walked over and pet her corgi along with Lovino, and started talking to him about something. Feliciano saw his opportunity here, though, and backed up to his own door, 39B, and swiftly unlocked and opened and closed the door. He slid down the door and held his face in his hands. A small scream emitted from him, millions of thoughts dashing in and out of his mind. 

// Oh god, he’s the one I’m going to be photographing? \\\

He could feel heat rising in his face, up to his ears and down his neck. Now, pictures were running through his mind, and he mentally smacked himself for treating him like an object.

A confused and angry meow sounded from in front of him, and he looked up to see Pookie with her ears down, mad that he came back empty handed. “Oh- oh right, wet food, right-” He quickly stood up and wobbled before straightening out his hoodie, opening and shutting the door. One could say Pookie shook her head and sighed, going back over to the window to paw at the mocking birds outside. 

 

END

 

 

~~~~

“Hey, uh, Nona, do you know who that guy is? The- Your neighbor?” Lovino stood up and looked over at his almost-aunt, who was setting up the table. He kept a hand down so Espresso would have something to sniff. “Oh, that’s just Feli, he’s a photographer.” “Uh... photographer? Feli??” “Yeah, Feliciano.” Nona stood straight and smiled at her almost-nephew, turning back to get the lasagna from the fridge and put it back into to the oven. “Poor soul’s gotten turned down from the last three interviews he’s had, and he just keeps getting sadder and sadder..” A look of pure worry crossed her face, “.. and.. skinnier, too, which is concerning..” A hopeful smile replaced it, “I always leave some leftover pasta or lasagna whenever I make it though, so I guess it’s alright. Anyways, let’s eat!!” 

Lovino hummed and watched Espresso gallop over to the frozen pasta cake, and was scolded by Nona as he tried to sniff it. A door open and closed shut in the hallway and, curiously, he glanced out the door. He and The stranger -- well, his name was Feliciano, apparently -- stared for a second before he turned around, swiftly pulling his hood up and scurrying down the hallway. 

Lovino watched him go, disappear around the corner, and noisily walk down the echoey stairs, and he sighed defeated and somewhat angrily, and shut the door.


End file.
